Have you been hurt or mistreated by someone close to you? Do you hold a grudge or have a hard time letting go, let alone understanding forgiveness after what someone has done to you? At some point, I think that all of us have experienced being treated badly by someone. Most of us take the pain from this hurt or mistrust and hold onto it for long periods of time, maybe even our whole lives.
Have you ever thought of how that negativity of not letting go has or is affecting you or those close to you? This resentment or grudge can cause us to have unhealthy relationships, a lack of trust, and/or a lack of connections. This can also hold us back in many ways.
We must take a step back and realize that what others do to us is not affecting that person, it is only affecting and hurting us and our loved ones. Try not to let what someone else does hold you back or distract you from accomplishing great things.
Many of us do not realize what we hold onto. It is okay to have mixed feelings about letting go of the past. Letting go does not mean that it never happened but allows us to put our energy towards our future and better things that lie ahead.
We must be willing to accept that bad things happen to good people and that is something that we have little to no control over. Holding onto this pain can cause resentment, emptiness, anger, negativity, and much more.
Resentment can cause but is not limited to
- Anxiety
- Heart problems
- Mood disorders
- Depression
- Sleep disturbances
- Aggression
- Stomach problems
- Self-harm
Reasons we may hold onto our pain
- We are afraid to let go
- We think that this pain will protect us from future pain
- We think we are punishing the person who hurt us
- We do not realize what we are holding onto
- We think that these memories identify who we are
Tips to letting go and honing in on forgiveness
- Acknowledge your emotions and pain
- Learn from what you have been through
- Have commitment in letting go and moving on
- Identify how the pain has or currently is affecting you
- Understand your choices with letting go
- Be willing to accept happiness and peace
- Celebrate the good things in your life
- Release the past
- Learn anger-management techniques
- Set healthy boundaries
- Use expressive writing as an outlet
We must be willing to show commitment to wanting to let go and have forgiveness. Try your best to not ignore your feelings and emotions. Use expressive writing or talking to a therapist can help us better understand these emotions safely. You owe this forgiveness to yourself.
Grudges can keep us stuck in the past and makes it difficult for us to cope with our problems and experiences. Forgiveness can lead to stable emotions, happier mindset, and overall better wellbeing. Do not let what someone else does hold you back from accomplishing great things. We must strive for forgiveness to live a happier and more fulfilling life.
 Forgive others and yourself so that it does not follow you into the future. Show yourself the love and respect that you deserve. You deserve the peace and happiness of letting go and moving forward without your past. If you have a hard time with holding a grudge and not being able to have true forgiveness, reach out to a trained professional for help. Friends, family, community resources, or a counselor/therapist can all be beneficial to helping you forgive and let go.
