It can be frustrating, daunting, and stressful to identify who we are as an emerging adult. At this time, we are experiencing what some say is “the real world” for the first time on our own. We often feel in-between during this time, which typically is ages 18-25 years old. Figuring out our identity can also mean how we fit into society. In emerging adulthood, we are tested on our values, beliefs, what we want to do with our lives, where we want to live, and much more.
During this time our values, beliefs, goals, and desires may fluctuate or change altogether. We must see all possibilities that lie ahead. As an emerging adult, there is a lot of pressure to become someone we may not want to be. Sometimes it can be difficult to take our own path and find who we are and want to be. Our journey to finding our identity can be lifelong and even change over time.
It is important for us to evolve and not just stay the same without any growth. We are not what others want us to be, our parents, our jobs, we are authentically unique beings. As an emerging adult, we face decisions such as going to college, getting a job, moving out on our own, and much more. This is not our identity but does help us identify who we want to be. Our identity is made up of what is important to us and how we act on our beliefs.
Things that contribute to our identity
- Culture
- Nationality
- Family/friends
- Education
- Religion
- Political views
- Values
- Beliefs
Ways to discover your identity as an emerging adult
- Write down your strengths
If we can identify what we are good at, this can help us identify the things that we enjoy doing. This can lead to long lasting careers or purposes.
- Identify your goals
What is important to you? What do you want to achieve in life? This can be big or small, short, or long term.
- Identify your needs
We all have unique needs and identifying these needs can help us better understand ourselves.
- Identify beliefs and values
The things that are important to us help make up our identity. This in turn shows how we will act on our beliefs, creating our sense of identity.
- Practice grounding to be in the here and now
Be in the here and now. When we learn to ground and be in the present, we are able to truly connect with our inner selves.
- Learn and use breathing and meditation techniques
Breathing and meditation exercises allow us to identify our core, who we are, and how we feel deep within. Listen to what your mind and body must tell you.
- Create mindfulness
Creating mindfulness allows us to be more aware of our surroundings, as well as ourselves. Being mindful allows us to better understand our beliefs, values, emotions, actions, and much more.
- Reflect on your goals
Once we create or have goals in mind it is important to reflect on them often. Write goals down and say them out loud. This allows us to put action to our words.
- Accept help from others family, friends, therapists
We cannot identify who we are and create a life of happiness and love all on our own. Sometimes we need help throughout this process or just need guidance or acceptance. Family, friends, or a counselor or therapist, can help tremendously when going through life and needing that support to identify our true selves.
Identifying who we are can contribute to our overall well-being. Understanding our identity can help us to create confidence and an enjoyable life that we are proud to live. Having a better identity can increase our awareness and connects us to others. We must realize that our true and authentic self does not change over time, only our values, beliefs, and goals change.
If you struggle with feeling stuck or having a lack of identity, do not be afraid to reach out to a trained mental health professional for help. There are many community resources as well as counseling that can help you through your journey.
