Do you feel like you are experiencing a loss of independence as you being the aging process? Sometimes it may feel like loved one’s are making all decisions for us, even when we may not want them to. Aging is difficult and knowing what is best for us can be challenging. Sometimes we may want input from loved one’s. while other times it may feel as if we cannot make decisions for ourselves. These decisions can be where we live, what activities we partake in, what medications we are on, etc. Take a moment to evaluate your independence.

Sometimes it can be beneficial to put healthy boundaries in place with loved ones in order to maintain more independence. There comes a time when we may need others to help us make decisions on our care, but that does not mean that you should lack in independence due to what others want for you. Lack of independence can greatly impact our mental and physical health and well-being.

Signs people are imposing on your independence as an older adult:

• Lack of decision making for medical purposes

Sometimes when we age, our loved ones want to make sure we are making good decisions for our health. This can include certain medications that we may question or are concerned about.

• Lack of decision making for where to live

This can be a touchy subject but can also be detrimental to healthy independence. Loved ones may want you to live with them or in a care facility. This may be what is best, but it is also important to be able to make the choice on this.

• Lack of decision making for social activity

They may want you to not do certain activities out of fear you may get hurt.

• & Much more

Ways to address loss of independence in aging adulthood:

Set healthy boundaries with family

Let your loved ones know that you are open to their help and thoughts, but that you still would like to be able to make decisions. Let your family know what your boundaries are so that they know what to expect. One study found that setting boundaries with family members can positively impact the well-being and quality of life of older adults. The study suggests that older adults who establish boundaries with their family members can maintain a sense of independence and autonomy, leading to improved mental health and social functioning. (1)

Let your family know you’d like to advocate for yourself

Just because you may not be able to drive does not mean you can’t make decisions. Let loved ones know that you are open to help, but that you still want to maintain some independence. A study showed that older adults who advocate for themselves can improve their sense of control and independence. The study found that when older adults express their preferences and assert their autonomy, they can better maintain their independence and reduce their risk of depression. (2)

Speak with a therapist

A therapist can help you manage your feelings of lack of independence and help you gain the skills to set healthy and appropriate boundaries. Therapy can also help you address the grief of aging and becoming less independent. According to a study published in the Journal of Aging and Mental Health, therapy can help older adults address feelings of loss and grief associated with aging and loss of independence in aging adults. The study found that older adults who received therapy reported a greater sense of control over their lives and improved emotional well-being (3).

Join a senior support group

This can help you meet new people and surround yourself with other who may better understand what you are going through. A study published in the Journal of Gerontological Social Work found that participation in a senior support group can help older adults feel less isolated and more connected to others who understand their experiences. The study found that older adults who participated in support groups reported improved emotional well-being and increased social support (4).

Move into a senior living community

This may not be something you want to do, but senior living communities can promote independence and allow you to still enjoy friends and activities in a safe environment. According to a study published in the Journal of Housing for the Elderly, moving into a senior living community can promote independence and improve overall well-being in older adults. The study found that older adults who lived in senior living communities reported greater social support and participation in activities, and felt more secure in their living environment (5).

Use technology to stay connected

With the advent of technology, it has become easier for seniors to stay connected with family and friends, even if they are not physically present. According to a study published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, the use of technology, such as video calls and messaging apps, can improve social connectedness and reduce loneliness among older adults (6).

Take advantage of community resources

Many communities offer resources specifically for seniors, such as transportation services, meal delivery programs, and volunteer opportunities. These resources can help seniors maintain their independence and stay engaged in their community. According to a study published in The Gerontologist, access to community resources was positively associated with independence among older adults (7).

Stay physically active

Physical activity can improve physical and mental health, as well as maintain independence. According to a study published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, regular physical activity was associated with better physical function and lower risk of disability among older adults (8).

Participate in lifelong learning

Lifelong learning can help seniors maintain cognitive function and stay engaged in their interests. According to a study published in the International Journal of Lifelong Education, participation in lifelong learning programs was associated with improved cognitive function among older adults (9).

Engage in meaningful activities

Engaging in meaningful activities, such as volunteering or participating in a hobby, can improve mental health and overall well-being. According to a study published in the Journal of Gerontological Social Work, engagement in meaningful activities was positively associated with life satisfaction among older adults (10).

It may not always seem possible when older to make your own decisions. You may face no longer being able to drive, not hearing or seeing as well, or not being able to do things without help. This can cause grief of your past and feeling like you cannot do anything. This is not always true, just because you cannot drive, does not mean you can’t have a voice in what your present and future consist of.

 Let your family know how you feel and work together on what will help with your feeling of loss of independence in aging. If you do not have family, a therapist or social worker can also help you advocate for yourself. Know that loved ones may only be trying to do what they think is best for you, but your voice still matters.