Separation anxiety disorder, also known as (SAD), is when a child has a hard time and worries excessively about being away from a parent, loved one, or home (Cedars Sinai, 2022). This can be when a child fears for their safety while away from the person or from becoming lost. It is normal to have some anxiety as children and teens, but not excessive or long lasting. Separation anxiety can be normal until around three years of age. There are environmental and biological factors that can cause separation anxiety.

We can even inherit this anxiety from our family. Chemicals such as serotonin and norepinephrine and their imbalances can also cause this anxiety. Separation anxiety can even be caused by traumatic events, divorce, accidents, natural disasters, and much more. Has your child experienced any of these things or has anxiety over being away from you or home? Although it is not as common, older children, teens, and young adults can also experience separation anxiety.

Symptoms of separation anxiety disorder

• Not being able to sleep alone
• Constant worry when not at home
• Having a hard time going to school
• Having stomach aches or physical symptoms when not around loved ones
• Panic episodes when leaving parents
• Being clingy when having to leave

Ways to help your child/adolescent

1. Show support and encouragement. When we help support our children and show them that it is okay to do things and accomplish things on their own, we are able to distance them from that anxiety.
2. Get support from others. There are many resources throughout communities that can help with this, especially support groups to speak to other parents that are going through similar situations with their children.
3. Be consistent with schedules. It can be hard for a child or teen not to have anxiety if they are always trying to expect changes because of a non-consistent schedule. A consistent schedule allows for structure and the knowledge for what time each thing is going to happen for your child to prepare.
4. Practice distancing little by little. If your child has a hard time going to school or sleepovers, start by assuring them when they will be picked up. If they are going to a friend’s start by having them go for an hour at a time. Make leaving quick so that there is less anxiety in that moment.
5. Keep your promises. If you tell them that you are going to pick them up from school at three in the afternoon, then stick to that. When we break these simple but important promises to them, they lose trust and have a harder time with separation. Being dependable is key to lessen the anxiety.

• Help them manage their feelings alone. If they can start to comfort themselves and not have to depend on others to do it for them, then they will start to gain the confidence in being alone. If you are constantly there to fix every problem, then they will depend on you to always be there no matter what age.
• Help them to face their triggers. It is important to identify triggers and to not ignore them. If we let them ignore their problems, they will never learn to cope and overcome these triggers.
• Family Therapy. Family therapy is a great tool for those with separation anxiety. This can allow them to explain how they are feeling and what is causing the anxiety, while also showing the family what is going on. This can create a safe space for the child to overcome this anxiety.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy or (CBT) is also beneficial to treating anxiety. This helps them to identify and resolve the behaviors.

No matter what age they are, if the symptoms persist over four weeks it is important to speak to your therapist in one of your counseling sessions. Try your best not to overwhelm your child with separation. Be kind and show them encouragement. Help them to gain the confidence that they may need to feel safe and strong on their own. Look out for the symptoms listed about above and do not be afraid to reach out to a support group, therapist, counselor, or social worker for help. It can be very hard to have a child with separation anxiety, know that you need to take care of yourself as well to help your child.