Although it may be difficult for some parents, it is important to have the difficult, uncomfortable, and embarrassing to talk to your teen at times. Sometimes as parents, you may feel that these conversations will only cause an argument or strain on your relationship. This is not always the case.
Teens are facing conflict daily and having these conversations will only help them understand what they are going through or what others may be going through. To not be blindsided by these conversations, it is important to prepare yourself beforehand. Do you research and practice what you would want to say to your teen.
Know the signs to look for when your teen needs mental health help and when you may be able to help them by having difficult conversations. Even if you are an aunt or uncle, it is also important to know the signs so that these teens have people they can trust to talk to outside of their parents. Not all teens have parents that they can talk to, so as adults, aunts, uncles, teachers, coaches, etc., we need to be prepared to help.
Important things to talk to your teen about:
- Depression
A lot of teens are unsure what depression is. They may be experiencing lows and highs or even suicidal ideations, be prepared to talk to them about this so that they can feel heard and understood.
- Anxiety
Although teens may know what anxiety is, it is important to let them know that anxiety is okay, but that they do not need to perfect, get perfect grades, or juggle many things alone. All of these things cause stress and anxiety, and they need to know that it is okay to fail, and it is okay to ask for help to lower anxiety.
- Sexuality
Sexuality as a teenager can be very hard, especially if you do not have supportive parents. Let your child know that you are there for them, be open to talking about sex and sexuality no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
- Healthy relationships
It is important to talk to your teen and let them know what a healthy relationship is, both intimately and with friendships. Teens do not always grow up with examples of a healthy relationship so be open with them so that they know how they should be treated, as well as how to treat others.
- Changing emotions
As a teen, your hormones are always fluctuating. Your teen needs to know that these emotions are okay and that just because they have these emotions does not mean that there is something wrong with them.
- Drugs/alcohol
Teens need to be aware of the effects and consequences of drugs and/or alcohol, how it may cause them to have a decrease in mental health, as well as how to make these decisions that they will face. Showing your teen that you are open to these conversations without yelling, allows them to see you as an outlet when facing these decisions.
Signs that your teen may need extra help with their mental health:
- They have constant anxiety/stress
This can include running thoughts or constant worry, even about little things.
They may slowly want to cancel plans with friends and prefer spending time alone.
- Drastic changes in appetite or sleep
This can include if they prefer to sleep over doing anything else, or if they are consuming far less/more food than usual.
- Signs of drug or alcohol abuse
Most teens face experimenting with drugs and alcohol but if the amount of this increases, then it may be time to intervene.
- Signs of depression or self-harm
If you notice your child is uninterested in things they used to love, if they have bruises or cuts that they try to hide, these are signs your teen may need more help. It is vital that we remain in constant communication and talk to your teen to normalize healthy patterns in their life.
Hormone fluctuation can cause many of these shifts. Be aware of the signs that these are causing and if they are being caused by something more serious that needs to be addressed. If you are aware of the signs and are knowledgeable of how to help teens through challenges, be support for other parents who may not have this knowledge yet. If you as a parent need help understanding how to be there for your teen, do not be afraid to ask others for help. Everyone as adults should be working together to help teens and their parents.
This will allow us to end the stigma surrounding teen mental health and allows us to have the courage to have these difficult conversations with our teens and loved ones. If you are not a parent, remember it is still important as an adult to help teens around you by also knowing the signs and being there for support. If you or your teen are struggling, do not be afraid to ask for help. Therapy is a great tool for teens that need more help with their mental health. Help your child advocate for their mental health because their mental health matters.
