Having ADHD can make dating more complicated. Your symptoms may cause misunderstandings and conflicts that can create stress in any relationship.

Your family and friends probably know what’s going on if you forget an appointment or make a harsh remark without thinking. They realize it’s unintentional and doesn’t need to be taken personally.

On the other hand, someone you just met might be confused or offended. You could find yourself breaking up before your romance has a chance to bloom.

How can you make a positive impression when it’s difficult for you to organize your thoughts? Study this guide to dating for adults with ADHD.

Disclosing Your Condition

One of the first issues you’ll face is how to tell others about your condition. Public awareness is increasing, but there are still many misconceptions about ADHD, especially with how it affects adults.

Dating Tips for Adults with ADHD – Strategies:

1. Pace yourself. It’s up to you to decide what you want to say about your condition and when to discuss it. You can wait until you know more about your date and how they might react.
   
2. Consider others. While it’s your decision, it’s important to think about your impact on others. Healthy relationships depend on trust and open communication.
   
3. Rehearse your speech. If you’re nervous about how to approach the subject, it might help to practice with someone you trust. They can give you feedback that will boost your confidence.
   
4. Keep it simple. Start out small. You can provide basic information and keep it brief. Let this be the start of ongoing conversations about getting to know each other.
   
5. Provide resources. What if your date is interested in learning more about ADHD? Suggest reliable websites, like the National Resource Center on ADHD and the National Institutes of Mental Health.

Dealing with Dating for Adults with ADHD

You’ve probably adopted a number of techniques that make it easier to live with ADHD. Many of those lessons can be applied to your dating experiences too.

Consider using these techniques:

1. Listen closely. Do you tend to talk nonstop or become easily distracted? Work on your conversation skills. Practice asking questions and waiting for the answers. Look for nonverbal cues. It may help to communicate face-to-face as much as possible rather than texting.
   
2. Use reminders. Relationships can become strained if you show up late because you lost track of time or you fail to follow through on something you promised to do. Leave yourself notes or ask a friend to jog your memory about details you might forget.
   
3. Set priorities. You may become overwhelmed if you try to tackle too much at once. Pick one or two important changes at a time to focus on.
   
4. Respect boundaries. You and your date need to feel secure and comfortable. Let each other know your expectations and discuss any behavior you find unacceptable.
   
5. Work together. Be patient and validate each other’s feelings.
   
6. Think positive. Remember that ADHD gives you some extra strengths. You’re probably creative and energetic. Qualities like that add to your charm.
   
7. Stay safe. ADHD can also make you impulsive, so avoid exposing yourself to too much risk. If you’re dating online, meet in public places and protect your private information.
   
8. Consider therapy. Romantic relationships can be challenging for any adult, especially when you have a chronic condition. Talking with a counselor who specializes in ADHD may help.

If love is a whirlwind, having ADHD can make it feel like a hurricane sometimes. Plan ahead and use coping strategies, so you can enhance your dating skills and develop the kind of relationship you want.