As an adult, we tend to forget the importance of healthy friendships. Adulthood is hard and it is important to have people we can vent to, spend time with, and share important milestones with. As adults it can be hard to create real and healthy relationships. We must understand that we do not need a friend that we talk to everyday for it to be a healthy relationship. We all have responsibilities like work, families, spouses, health, etc. It is important to take time to spend with friends. Even if you are a parent, take your kids along to hang out with friends that are also parents.
Know the signs of a healthy friendship, as well as what friends you should be keeping close.
Signs of a healthy friendship:
- There is support and trust
In a healthy friendship, just like every other relationship, it is two sided. Each person needs to be able to trust the other person and each person must show signs of support.
We tend to get caught up in our busy lives. True and healthy friendships involve actively listening to your friend and them doing the same so that you each have someone you trust with your thoughts.
- What is shared between you and a friend stays between you two
A healthy friendship means not sharing their personal information with anyone else. This also means that no gossiping is involved.
- You build each other up
In healthy friendships you build each other up, help with their self-esteem/confidence, and remind them of their accomplishments. Life is hard, having friends that are encouraging is very important.
- You can be yourself
A healthy friendship offers us a space to be ourselves and not hide who we are. If you cannot be yourself around your friends, then they are not true friends.
Green Flags for Healthy Friendships:
- You are able to show true emotions around them
This means you can laugh, cry, or even yell with them.
- You can have difficult conversations with them
This can be about goals, growth, problems, etc., without any judgement.
- You can be honest about your mental/physical health
This can be telling them when you are not okay or even when you need help.
- You can be around each other and not have to talk about anything
Sometimes we just need someone to be around, even if we do not want to talk.
- You celebrate each other’s achievements
Friends that celebrate and are proud of you without jealousy are friends to stick around.
- Are honest even when it may be upsetting
Sometimes we just need real and raw honesty to see the things we do not personally see. Take a step back and truly value your friendships. Many of us do not make the time to connect with others and create friendships. Friendships are important at every age and can help us through many obstacles in life. Remember that even though your partner may be your best friend, that you still need friends that you can spend time with away from your romantic relationship. We may have a friend from high school, a sibling, a cousin, or even someone from work.
Know the signs of a healthy friendship so that you can know when to put true effort into that relationship or let that relationship go. Not all friends last and that is okay, but we must be willing to try to build lasting friendships. If you struggle with letting people in, building friendships, or even putting effort into friendships, reach out to a trained therapist for help navigating this and learning new skills to building healthy and happy friendships.
