DARVO, an acronym that stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, is a common tactic used by individuals who seek to manipulate others, particularly in emotionally abusive relationships. First coined by psychologist Jennifer Freyd, DARVO is employed by perpetrators of harm to deflect responsibility, deny their actions, and shift the blame onto the victim. This insidious pattern of DARVO can cause significant damage to the mental health of the person experiencing it, leaving long-term effects that require careful attention in therapy.

While DARVO tactics can be difficult to recognize at first, their long-term effects can be profoundly damaging, leading to emotional challenges such as anxiety, depression, self-blame, and confusion. For individuals who have endured this form of manipulation for extended periods, healing can be complex. Holistic counseling, which takes into account the emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational aspects of a person’s well-being, can offer an effective path to recovery. This article explores the long-term psychological effects of DARVO and the role of holistic counseling in overcoming the associated trauma.

What is DARVO?

DARVO is a pattern of behavior often used by abusers, particularly in intimate relationships but also in familial, social, and professional contexts. The strategy unfolds in three distinct phases:

1. Deny – The perpetrator denies that the harmful behavior took place or minimizes its severity, suggesting that the victim is exaggerating or misunderstanding the situation.
2. Attack – Once the denial is established, the perpetrator attacks the victim, often accusing them of being overly sensitive, unstable, or vindictive. This attack serves to undermine the victim’s credibility and deflect the conversation away from the abuser’s actions.
3. Reverse Victim and Offender – In the final stage, the perpetrator positions themselves as the victim, flipping the narrative to suggest that they are the one being wronged. This reversal creates confusion and guilt in the true victim, who may start to question their own experience and even feel compelled to apologize.

When someone is subjected to DARVO repeatedly, it can lead to long-term psychological trauma, with the victim internalizing the manipulative narrative and developing deep-rooted feelings of self-doubt, shame, and worthlessness.

The Long-Term Psychological Effects of DARVO

Over time, the effects of DARVO can permeate many aspects of a person’s life, leading to significant mental health challenges. Below are some of the most common psychological impacts experienced by those who have been exposed to DARVO over extended periods.

1. Anxiety

One of the most immediate and persistent effects of DARVO is anxiety. Victims of DARVO often find themselves walking on eggshells around the abuser, fearing further accusations, conflict, or emotional manipulation. This constant state of hypervigilance can lead to generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), where the person experiences chronic, excessive worry that is difficult to control.

In more severe cases, prolonged exposure to DARVO tactics can contribute to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The victim may become haunted by flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts related to the manipulative events. The unpredictability and emotional volatility of the perpetrator may also cause the victim to develop a heightened startle response and difficulty relaxing.

2. Depression

Another long-term effect of DARVO is depression. Victims may feel emotionally drained, hopeless, and powerless after experiencing ongoing manipulation. The continuous undermining of their reality by the abuser’s denial and attacks can make them question their worth, leading to profound feelings of inadequacy.

When a victim begins to internalize the abuser’s accusations, they may become convinced that they are responsible for the conflict or abuse, which further fuels feelings of guilt and shame. Over time, this emotional burden can result in major depressive disorder (MDD), characterized by persistent sadness, lack of motivation, feelings of worthlessness, and a loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities.

3. Self-Blame and Shame

One of the most devastating consequences of DARVO is the way it warps the victim’s perception of themselves and their role in the relationship. Abusers using DARVO are highly skilled at shifting the blame, making the victim feel as though they are responsible for the conflict or abuse. Over time, this leads to internalized self-blame, where the victim becomes convinced that their actions—or even their mere presence—are the cause of the problem.

This can result in pervasive shame, which goes beyond feeling bad about one’s actions to feeling inherently flawed as a person. Shame is corrosive to self-esteem and self-worth, and it often becomes a significant barrier to seeking help or leaving an abusive situation. The victim may feel that they don’t deserve better, that they are unworthy of support, or that no one would believe them if they tried to share their story.

4. Confusion and Gaslighting

A hallmark of DARVO is its ability to create confusion. Victims of DARVO often feel disoriented and unsure of what actually occurred because the abuser’s denial and blame-shifting are so convincing. This can lead to gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation in which the victim starts to question their memory, perception, and sanity. The repeated denial of reality by the abuser makes the victim feel as though they cannot trust their own thoughts and feelings.

Over time, this confusion can erode the victim’s confidence in their ability to make decisions or stand up for themselves. They may become overly reliant on the abuser for validation or clarity, further entrenching the toxic dynamic. In extreme cases, the victim may develop dissociative symptoms, where they feel disconnected from their thoughts, emotions, or body as a way of coping with the overwhelming confusion and emotional pain.

Holistic Counseling for Healing from the Effects of DARVO

The trauma caused by DARVO is complex and multifaceted, often affecting not just the mind but the body and spirit as well. Healing from this type of manipulation requires a comprehensive, integrative approach. Holistic counseling, which addresses the whole person—mind, body, and spirit—can be a highly effective way to recover from DARVO’s long-term effects. Below are some holistic counseling methods that can aid in the recovery process.

1. Mindfulness and Meditation

One of the core elements of holistic counseling is mindfulness, which helps individuals reconnect with the present moment and regain control over their thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing exercises, body scans, and meditation, can help victims of DARVO manage anxiety and reduce feelings of overwhelm.

By cultivating awareness of their thoughts and emotions without judgment, clients can learn to recognize the manipulation they’ve experienced for what it is. This process can help them separate their sense of self from the negative narratives imposed by the abuser.

2. Somatic Therapy

Trauma doesn’t just reside in the mind—it also manifests in the body. Somatic therapy is a form of counseling that focuses on the connection between the mind and body, helping individuals release trauma stored in their physical being. Victims of DARVO may experience physical symptoms such as muscle tension, headaches, digestive issues, or chronic pain as a result of the ongoing stress they’ve endured.

Somatic therapy techniques, such as gentle movement, breathwork, and body awareness exercises, help release this stored tension and promote a sense of calm and safety in the body. By restoring the mind-body connection, somatic therapy can help clients feel more grounded and empowered in their healing process.

3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

While holistic counseling emphasizes the integration of mind, body, and spirit, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) remains an essential component of the healing process for many individuals recovering from DARVO. CBT helps clients identify and challenge distorted thinking patterns that have been reinforced by the abuser’s manipulation.

For example, a victim who has internalized self-blame may work with a therapist to recognize the irrationality of these thoughts and replace them with more realistic, self-affirming beliefs. Over time, CBT can help break the cycle of negative thinking, empowering the victim to reclaim their sense of agency and self-worth.

4. Energy Healing

For individuals open to exploring spiritual healing modalities, energy work such as Reiki, chakra balancing, or acupuncture can be powerful tools for releasing emotional blockages caused by DARVO trauma. These practices aim to restore balance to the body’s energy systems, which can become disrupted by chronic stress and emotional manipulation.

Energy healing helps clients access deeper layers of their emotional and spiritual well-being, offering a sense of peace and alignment that complements traditional therapeutic approaches.

5. Group Therapy and Support Networks

Healing from DARVO is often a long and isolating journey, but it doesn’t have to be done alone. Group therapy provides a supportive environment where individuals can share their experiences, learn from others, and develop a sense of community. This can be particularly helpful for victims of DARVO, who may have been isolated by their abuser’s manipulation.

In addition to formal group therapy, many holistic counseling practices encourage the development of supportive networks, whether through peer support groups, community events, or online forums. Connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can help victims feel validated in their experiences and foster a sense of belonging.

Conclusion

The long-term effects of DARVO on mental health are profound and far-reaching, often resulting in anxiety, depression, self-blame, and confusion. For those who have experienced this form of emotional manipulation, the journey to healing can be complex and challenging. However, with the support of holistic counseling, individuals can begin to heal not just their minds, but their bodies and spirits as well. Through mindfulness practices, somatic therapy, cognitive behavioral techniques, and energy healing, victims of DARVO can reconnect with themselves, release stored trauma, and rebuild their sense of worth. In doing so, they can reclaim their narratives, heal from the past, and move forward into a future of greater emotional freedom and empowerment.