With everything that is going on in the world, especially during the pandemic, we are spending more time than ever with our partners. When we are constantly with our partners, we tend to slack on keeping our healthy boundaries in dating relationships. With the pandemic, new and budding dating relationships typically went to very serious relationships in a short amount of time. Although it can be hard to have boundaries during this time, it is crucial to our mental health. Boundaries are healthy for all relationships, especially dating ones.
Boundaries help us to create balance in our relationships and can help reduce stress and lower the chances of conflict. Boundaries help us to understand our partner and provides chances for open communication. Boundaries are what help us feel comfortable, especially in a new relationship. Without boundaries we can lack trust. Setting boundaries is both self-care, as well as relational care. This will help you to honor yourself and your partner.
How to set boundaries in dating relationships
- Be honest about your needs
This can be physically and emotionally. We must be able to fully communicate with our partner what we need as well as our comfort levels and what we expect. They cannot know if you do not tell them.
- Be straightforward and set times for space or alone time
With Covid-19 this has been hard for many of us but is crucial to our mental health. We must spend time with and on ourselves. This will not only help you but will help your partner as well.
- Understand the needs and boundaries of your partner
It is important to have balance when it comes to boundaries. This means that it is just as important for us to understand the needs and boundaries of our partner, as it is for them to understand our needs and boundaries. Work together as a team on boundaries in order to see the importance and potential it has on creating a healthy, longer, trustful, and more meaningful relationship.
- Be reasonable with your boundaries
We need to be reasonable with our boundaries and not expect too much of our partner. All relationships have a little bit of give and take. We cannot expect that our partner be around us 24/7 or not spend time with friends. These are unrealistic expectations that are unhealthy and can cause more harm than good.
- Set sexual boundaries
Many of us have sexual needs, while others need to feel safe sexually in a relationship. This can be because of many things, such as previous sexual abuse. This can be done with setting boundaries on how early in the relationship we are comfortable having sex or being intimate in other ways. It is okay to wait, just be honest with your partner from the beginning.
- Maintain respect for each other
Work together and not against each other. Boundaries should be able to help maintain respect for both individuals in the relationship and not just one. Each of us have different needs but no matter what the relationship builds with trust and respect.
Boundaries can be hard and daunting at first. Be open and honest with your partner from the beginning of the relationship and try working on boundaries together to make it less stressful. Boundaries can help us with relationship satisfaction and creates longer and healthier relationships overall. Creating a happy and balanced relationship is key to growth and trust. Being open and creating boundaries can make us vulnerable and that is okay.
If you are in a relationship and have a hard time creating or maintaining boundaries, reach out to a trained professional for help. There are counselors and social workers trained to help couples through these stages of their relationship. Creating boundaries can take time, be patient and easy on both yourself and your partner.
