It is normal to have insecurities every now and then. If we become insecure all the time, we may be damaging our mental and physical health, as well as our everyday performance. Insecurities can cause low self-esteem, anxiety, and even jealousy. This can greatly impact our relationships, especially romantic ones.
Over half of women experience critical and hurtful thoughts about themselves weekly (PsychAlive, 2022). These thoughts are usually reflected by the inner voice we have that critiques everything we are and do.
How we are treated growing up greatly impacts our insecurities throughout life. We lack security when we feel unseen or unheard. We must realize that we all have very high expectations for ourselves. These expectations may lead to more and more doubt over time.
Do you have insecurities that affect your mental or physical well-being? If your younger self knew how you were treating your current self, how do you think your younger self would feel?
Steps to addressing your insecurities:
When we have insecurities, we tend to lack on self-care. Make sure you are addressing your needs and not just the needs of others.
- Understand and fight back against your negative thoughts
Do not let the lies that your self-doubt is telling you consume your thoughts. Fight back against these thoughts to help create more positive thoughts.
- Do things that make you truly happy
When we are insecure it can be hard to allow ourselves to be happy. Focus on what truly makes you happy to overcome insecurities, get physical exercise, go on a trip, learn a new hobby, etc.
- Identify your triggers
In order to work on them we must first identify them. Are your insecurities more about body image, work, relationships, etc.?
- Expose your thoughts or inner voice
Expose your thoughts by stating them out loud, writing them down, or explaining them to a friend or therapist. This will help you identify and fight back against these thoughts.
- Understand how your insecurities are affecting you and be self-aware
It is one thing to know what our insecurities are, but we also need to understand how these insecurities are affecting us. Are they affecting you physically, emotionally, spiritually, or all the above?
- Create a plan of action to address and challenge your beliefs and behaviors
If you have a hard time creating a plan of action that will help you to challenge your beliefs and behaviors of insecurity, reach out to a therapist for help.
- Do your best to not avoid your feelings
Avoiding our feelings will only make the insecurities worse and affect us in many ways. Do not be afraid to accept and express your feelings and emotions.
- Take it one day and one step at a time
Changing any behavior takes time. Be kind to yourself and take things one day or even one step at a time. Do not forget to reward yourself for the steps you have taken to overcome your insecurities.
- Embrace your imperfections and uniqueness
This can be easier said than done. After working on our insecurities, it will become easier to embrace who we are and our uniqueness.
Examples of our inner voice and uncertainty:
- You are not good enough
- You are overweight
- You cannot be loved
- You will not achieve your goals
- There is no point in continuously trying
We may have insecurities about:
- Relationships
- Work
- Body image/acceptance
- Overall worth
Insecurities can be hard on all of us. Who doesn’t have these at some point in time? Learn to address your these stressors head on and do not avoid your emotions and feelings. Create a plan of action to conquer your insecurities and work with a trained therapist in your counseling sessions to help during this process if needed.
Insecurities can appear in many ways and can relate to relationships, body image, work, self-worth, and much more. Be kind to yourself through this process, it takes time to change our thought and behavior patterns, especially if we are taught to have those insecurities at a young age.
