We do not always notice aggression within ourselves. Everyone is different and sometimes we may only recognize our aggression because of irritability. Do you struggle with aggression or have others told you that you seem aggressive? It is important to identify signs of aggression within yourself in order to manage this aggression.
If not addresses, our aggression can become worse over time. Aggression can be built up stress or frustration, or it can be something more serious that we need to watch out for. Aggression can be considered as displayed harm towards others, whether that be with words or actions. What you may consider as aggression may not be aggression to others.
There are ways to change how we respond towards situations and people. Aggression can be caused by biological, environmental, and psychological factors. Unlearning aggressive behavior takes time, be easy on yourself through this process. We must identify our signs and causes to understand and combat triggers, while also working towards changing our behaviors.
To fully understand our own aggression, we must become knowledgeable of the many types of aggression such as:
- Physical aggression (hitting)
- Verbal aggression (yelling)
- Impulsive aggression (acting out with negative emotion)
- Instrumental aggression (making a plan to get what they want)
- Relational aggression (bullying)
Examples of aggressive behavior
- Yelling or swearing
- Slapping or hitting
- Breaking objects
- Causing harm to others
- Acting out physically or emotionally and harming others
Ways to recognize and work on our aggression
- Build better communication skills
When we feel misunderstood, this is when we begin to get irritated and/or aggressive. Work on communication skills in order to reduce conflict with others.
- Work on not needing full control of every situation
Those with aggression tend to want control over every situation and when they cannot have this control is when the stress and aggression starts. We must work on realizing that we cannot have full control over everything, and some things are just out of our control all together.
- Work on meeting your needs without harming others
When working on yourself, make sure that what you are doing is not harming or affecting others in a negative way. Working on your needs and self-care should reduce aggression, but only if we do these things with good intent without involving others.
- Learn to communicate feelings
When we learn to communicate our feeling or emotions instead of letting them build up inside, we can release built up tension and aggression. Built up feelings and emotions can lead to a greater amount of aggression over time.
- Use breathing techniques when feeling aggressive
Our irritability is what leads to aggression, if we can learn to use breathing techniques to target our triggers and feel more relaxed or calm, we can reduce aggressive moments.
- Seek out therapy
If aggression continues it is important to reach out to a counselor or social worker for help. A therapist can help to identify strategies to help manage aggression and triggers.Â
Beneficial mental health therapies for recognizing and working on aggression
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Interpersonal therapy
- Psychodynamic therapy
- & More
It can be hard for us to admit when we are being mean or aggressive. No one likes to be told that they are aggressive. We must take control of our lives, emotions, and well-being to help alleviate this built-up aggression before it continues to get worse. Therapy is a great tool for those who would like to better recognize their aggression to help build strategies to combat aggression and identify what is causing the aggression.
Be honest with yourself and loved ones to heal. Identify what type of aggression you use to better understand how to help overcome your aggression. Understand that your aggression does not just affect you but everyone around you. Aggression can get in the way of many positive possibilities. Take control of your aggression to live a happier and more fulfilling life.
