Being a people pleaser can often have both positives and negatives. On one hand, it can help you build strong relationships with others and avoid conflict. On the other hand, it can lead to an unhealthy habit of always putting others before yourself, leading to feelings of resentment and burnout. If you find yourself constantly trying to please others, it may be time to start prioritizing your own needs and desires to be able to master overcoming people pleasing.
People pleasing is common among a lot of people. Being a people-pleaser can have us questioning our worth, needing approval from others, and putting others needs before our own. We must identify our people pleasing characteristics in order to work towards having a healthy balance of people pleasing in our lives. It is not easy to overcome people-pleasing, but with a few tips you can start to feel more in control of your life and live a happier and more fulfilled life.
Here are some tips for overcoming the people-pleasing mindset and finding a healthy balance in your relationships:
One of the biggest challenges for people pleasers is learning to say “no” without feeling guilty or anxious. It is important to remember that saying “no” does not make you a bad person or a bad friend. It simply means you have other priorities or limitations that need to be respected. Start by setting small boundaries and saying “no” to requests or invitations that do not align with your values.
- Identify your own needs and desires
As a people pleaser, you may have become so accustomed to putting others first that you have lost touch with your own needs and desires. Take some time to reflect on what is important to you – what brings you joy, what makes you feel fulfilled, and what you want to achieve in life. This will help you prioritize your own goals and make decisions that align with your own values, rather than constantly seeking approval or validation from others.
- Practice self-care
Taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and avoiding burnout. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, reading, or spending time in nature. Set aside time each day for self-reflection and mindfulness and prioritize your physical health by eating well and getting enough sleep.
- Seek support
Breaking out of the people-pleasing mindset can be challenging, so it is important to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and encourage you to prioritize your own needs, and do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
- Embrace imperfection
Perfectionism and people-pleasing often go hand in hand, as you may feel like you need to constantly please others to avoid criticism or rejection. However, striving for perfection is an impossible standard that can lead to anxiety and stress. Embrace your imperfections and recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process.
Signs that you are a people-pleaser:
- You struggle to tell people no
- You put other people’s needs before your own
- You overcommit to plans/responsibilities
- Take on more work than you can handle
- You feel responsible for other people’s feelings/behaviors
- You say sorry often
- You dislike confrontation
- You have low self-esteem/worth
- You need approval from others
Overcoming the people-pleasing mindset takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. By prioritizing your own needs and desires, you will develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships with others, while also achieving your own goals and living a more balanced, fulfilling life. Take the time to understand your people-pleasing tendencies and where you need to work on certain behaviors of people-pleasing. People-pleasing can become exhausting and have us feeling defeated often. If you struggle with people-pleasing, reach out to others for support.
