Helping your child set boundaries early in life is extremely important. Do you help your child understand their feelings and what boundaries are? We want to provide our kids the necessary tools to advocate for themselves. Children do not always have someone to advocate for them, unfortunately we can’t be with our children all the time, so they need to know how to advocate for themselves.

To set healthy boundaries, children need to better understand their feelings and how they want to be treated. This also means that they should better understand how others should be treated as well as others’ boundaries. It is important to make your child feel heard.

Try not to make your child show affection, your child should be able to choose and decide on how they show their affection. We need to try not to make them feel uncomfortable with giving family hugs and kisses. We need to truly listen to what they have to say about their feelings, along with what their limits are.

Tips to help your child set boundaries:

• Initiate effective communication.

Let your child know that you are there for them to talk to. Be kind and let them know that their feelings are valid. Talk to them about the importance of healthy boundaries.

• Build family rules and follow them.

Creating family rules can help your child see the importance of rules and how to follow them. This shows them to have the same mentality towards others, as well as creating rules for themselves.

• Be consistent and do not give up on helping them set boundaries.

When you choose to start introducing boundaries to your child, make sure that you are consistent so that they in turn will be consistent with their own feelings and boundaries. They are relying on you to help them understand and create these boundaries that will help them advocate for themselves the rest of their life.

• Have patience with your child.

Helping your child set boundaries is not easy. Your child may not understand at first what boundaries are or that we need to respect others’ boundaries as well. Have patience so that they do not become overwhelmed with the idea of setting healthy boundaries.

• Ask your child what they need changed.

Be open and honest with your child about what it is that makes them feel uncomfortable, sad, scared, etc. This way you can better understand what it is that they need and what they do not want. Your child may need a safe space or may not want their pictures posted on social media and that is okay. Some children need affection and hugs, while others do not like this affection and do not want to be forced to give that affection to others.

• Represent setting boundaries and that no means no.

If you are willing to set healthy boundaries and follow those boundaries, then they are more likely to do the same. They want to know from you that it is okay to be open about their boundaries and that when they do not like something or want to do something, that no means no.

Help your child understand that they oversee their own body. Let them know that no means no and represent this for them regularly. When it comes to understanding these feelings, it can be important for them to understand empathy and self-awareness. This can help them to better understand how others feel.

This can be done by teaching them to ask others before touching their food or toys. This can help them understand that something they like or see as fun is not the same for everyone. Children should interact with people who are different from them to better understand boundaries and people’s differences.

Make sure that your child understands phrases to use when telling people how they feel and what their boundaries are to advocate for themselves when you are not around. This can be, “I don’t like that” or “could you please stop”. Send your child into the world with the tools to advocate for themselves. It is important as parents to represent the same boundaries and respect that we want them to have. If we are unable to set healthy boundaries, then how can we expect them to?